I love this Shakespeare quote because I believe that it speaks the truth. When you’re asked this question, what is your answer?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Now, I’m as hopeless romantic as they get [it’s actually kind of annoying… Jenna can vouch for that… but shhhhhh… there’s nothing wrong with injecting a little hopeless romanticism into your life! It’s a lost art] but my answer to this question is a firm and resounding “No”. I do not believe in love at first sight. I believe that there is such thing as lust at first sight- and we’ve all experienced it. There is no way to know whether you love somebody immediately upon meeting. There isn’t even a superhero power responsible for that, and… well.. if it’s weird/special/necessary, they’re generally the ones who have it first. Even though plenty sounds wrong with this response, I think that the majority of us in long term relationships ended up there because there was an initial attraction, correct? If there was no initial attraction drawing you towards that person, making you feel as if you wanted to be near them and look at how damn cute they are, you most likely wouldn’t have gone further than a friendship initially.
Unless of course you were forced to talk to them… which can happen in a number of situations, one fine example is being stuck next to somebody at the gym on a treadmill/equipment. OR! Maybe they’re just all space-invader like and won’t leave you alone. In which case you may start to talk to them and, much to your own surprise, realize you have an attraction. You may also realize that you are really sweaty.
My reaction to the “love at first sight” idea sounds SO wrong and I always kick myself in the ass for thinking it, but sadly it is true. Don’t get me wrong- it’s exceptionally important that somebody has brains behind the attractiveness. I [and quite a lot of other smart women] can be quite a handful when it comes to holding my own in conversations and I hate talking to somebody who isn’t well versed in the things that I talk about. Unless you miraculously find the fountain of youth [FYI: damn near impossible! It’s a personal mission that both Jenna and I have and are failing miserably at] looks will fade as you get older, and if you are with somebody you want to marry, you better have companionship and friendship behind it as well… that is the most important thing :) I think that’s why my boyfriend and I get along so well- physical and mental attraction. Him and I can go back and forth all day long talking about things that interest us. We will never lose that.
[side note 1- I am jamming out to Rihanna’s ‘please don’t stop the music’ and having an awesome time]
Aside from “lust” and initial attraction being swapped with “love at first sight” in many people’s minds, we often try to erase the fact that people who are beautiful or attractive tend to get preferential treatment. This is a completely unintentional action; people just have a tendency to do more favors or have an easier time with good looking people. We can’t deny that anymore. Physical attractiveness, in both men and women, shows life and vitality. There are many sounds of health and youth that are highly sought after yet never coveted; you can search high and low for tips on homemade remedies to make your skin look younger, or how to force your hair to have a healthy sheen with a temporary remedy, but when it comes down to it- you have to be internally healthy for it to show externally. That’s why people are attracted to girls who have long healthy hair, beautiful skin etc. It exudes youth. A girl who goes out and drinks every night and gets no sleep looks battered down and their hair is usually not so great looking. Physical looks ARE important because they are also tell tale indicators of a person’s lifestyle. That’s why I’m so jealous of those people who can only sleep 5 hours a night and look as if they slept forever! The first thing that shows I haven’t slept are definitely my eyes. So just an FYI- if you don’t need beauty sleep and still manage to be beautiful… go jump off a cliff :) Although I’m sure if you did that you wouldn’t even bruise anyway in all your perfectness…
[side note 2- whenever I type the word “wouldn’t” it keeps underlining it like it’s wrong! It’s not! “would” “not” … “wouldn’t” right? that’s correct? I know it is so I don’t know why I’m asking a question out into cyber space. It just bugs me a little haha]
UNFORTUNATELY along with natural healthy beauty comes the flip-side of the coin- the girls who really aren’t healthy [read: good] looking at all but they manage to dress a certain way and have an outward appearance [certain actions… ::cough::] that draws other people in [willingly or unwillingly]. I will refrain from using any specific words. bwahaha. I notice that if I’m bumming around in sweatpants with my hair all medusa-like and out of control VS. when I go for casting and look my very best… there is a substantial difference. It’s just the way it is; like it or not. It’s human nature to naturally have the urge to talk to somebody when they are outfitted and look their very best.
Well I thought I would share this video with you. This lady did an interesting experiment to get down to the bottom of pretty people getting preferential treatment. One day she went out dressed down with her hair tied back and no makeup, and the next time she went out looking like a bombshell with her hair blown out and curly-ish, good looking makeup and a tight dress. It’s actually amazing how different people act towards her. Although I know in experiments you’re supposed to use a control to keep the experiment equal, however, I noticed that she was saying different things when in different outfits, and I think that ruins the experiment in a way… I think she should have figured out key phrases or ways to ask rather than changing it up. How you vocalize and communicate with somebody is also another important factor that determines the outcome of a situation. Anyway- take a look… here is the link.