I went through today, only allowing myself to enjoy a few precious hours of freedom. I heard the words “no, I can’t because I’m too busy” slipping out of my mouth more than “yes! that sounds so fun.”

How many times have you found yourself doing that?

I peered down at my cute dog who gave me puppy dog eyes – not a surprise – and wanted go play at the dog park, not really caring that I had things to finish. Then I glanced at my boyfriend who really hasn’t spend much quality time with me this month either and I started asking myself what was really holding me back from enjoying these things?

I answered myself and said, “I simply have too much stuff to do.” But do I really? Or is this just a deadly time trap that I imposed on myself? Yes- it’s my own ridiculous ambition, goals and level of success that I set for myself- and I’m really bad at the whole “work/life” balance because to me, life is weird unless I’m working. I’m not the kind of person who appreciates relaxing because I feel like I’m wasting time and could be thinking up something awesome.

Then, it dawned on me in a moment of clarity. We’re completely free. As humans, we impose limitations on ourselves. Why can’t I balance work and life? My work is something that I love, which is why I always feel like  I’m working, and not working, simultaneously. And that’s not a bad thing at all. In a perfect world, you should never feel like your working if it’s something you love to do, and I finally found that.

Now the neurotic expectations and goals? All of these expectations and pressures are self inflicted. When I think about what’s going on outside of my own bubble it’s amazing. I’m trying to remind myself everyday that the world is a beautiful place, because I’m guilty as ever of keeping my nose to the grindstone without realizing that there are things going on around me.

Today ended with us booking reservations to go away for the weekend of our 6 year anniversary- something we’ve never had the time/money to do because we were either in college with no money, or professionals with no time. But we’re making the time this year to spend with each other, and I think it’s more important than ever.

Sometimes we just need to stop, breathe, take a look around and cherish what we have that’s important to us.

Hearing about the Startup Bus genuinely interests me, because I love the notion that the best ideas often aren’t planned for. Drawing out an idea for months and months, and never taking action, can make you lose confidence in an idea and decide it’s not worthwhile. There’s something about being in the fire with other talented people, hashing out ideas to create that one that has potential if you throw sweat equity into it. It’s pretty much exhilarating.

So let me tell you a little story about why I’m so obsessed with “the startup life.” Nobody really understands how I got bitten with the bug that makes me want to constantly create things. Unless you count my mom, when she watched me try to create workout videos to sell to people when I was 8, create children’s stories so I can try to get them picked up and published when I was younger than the age of 10, my teacher who shook her head in disappointment when I tried to sell my game gear to another student in the 4th grade on the down low, and every other silly and insane thing I tried to do and create before I hit a double digit age to make money.

Many people say, “well- you like the startup life so much, but you haven’t really been a part of it.”

Oh, but I have been.

It’s not that hard really. In order to simplify the process, here’s how I view it.

• Find an existing hole and pain point to cure that you’re passionate about.
• Research the hell out of the market.
• Get your finances in order  (maybe).
• Blood, sweat, tears.
• GO.

Note: Don’t quit your job and start a business based on the above. I won’t hold myself responsible. :)

What the majority of you guys don’t know is that I was a “cofounder” that helped to create and launch a product driven business before I was 20 years old. It’s actually still around.

I can actually say that was my first attempt (8 or 9 years ago) at learning how to use SEO to help gain visibility for an ecommerce site. Can’t say it wasn’t a laughable attempt, but it’s funny how something you try to learn years and years ago sets the stage for what you spend the majority of your adult life doing. I actually feel like I learned a lot from this business, mainly because it was mainly offline (with online as only a part of the business model).

I got the real deal business experience. Face to face business when dealing with vendors and distributors. Actual sales and bargaining. Market research out in the field while selling. There wasn’t much of “sitting behind the computer” back then.

Born out of an idea I had, I realized that there was a huge market to take advantage of. All because I was so effing sick of paying $20 for a decent tongue ring or belly button ring and decided to purchase some in bulk on Ebay. So then, we did what any smart person would do- find a way to screw the system. And I say screw the system because when you think about how low the manufacturer costs are on jewelry and how insanely high the markup is, you realize how big of an opportunity actually reveals itself.

And so, a business was born. One that started expanding products into tattoo equipment, supplying a large percentage of the northeast and getting a retail store front around the time I bowed out of it.

We kept the overhead ridiculously low and contacted multiple jewelry manufacturers across (and outside of) the country, bargained with them all and found the one that could get us the lowest cost with the highest quality. We then started to undercut other businesses juuuuuust enough that we were drawing constant customers, but not enough to create a dramatic shift in the market. We figured out a bulk pricing model, created incentives for those who brought us either individual or bulk orders (a real-life affiliate program , if you will) and traveled from county to county to participate in events like huge motorcycle stunt shows and other places that vendors might build their client base.

I was still in college for business, but the school of life was teaching me way more than I could ever learn in a classroom.

There was no store front, barely any initial overhead, and we were literally working out of a garage. I never would have imagined how much work would actually have to go into a business that seemed relatively straight forward and product driven. When time wasn’t spent QAing the jewelry that came in to make sure we got the right amount of inventory (and when I say inventory, I mean thousands of pieces of jewelry) it went to creating a sustainable inventory system that wouldn’t want to make me throw myself out the window, figuring out taxes, trying to create an e-commerce website, building partnerships with other vendors, and literally selling individual pieces to people in town to get the brand name out there.

I think that’s when I really became a night owl. Many of these activities went straight through the night, only closing my eyes at 5 am because I had class the next morning. Or a job the next afternoon. But to see something created and built was the most exhilarating feeling in the world, and completely worth all the sweat and long nights that went into it.

The amount of (literal) blood, sweat and (literal) tears that went into launching that business was ridiculous. So ridiculous, that I told myself about 80 times I was done. I didn’t want to do it anymore. But then you get that opportunity that reminds you why you started it in the first place. You hear from a new company that’s interested in using you as a vendor. Money starts rolling in.

None of us took a dime out unless we needed it for travel expenses to meet potential vendors or clients. Looking back, I probably should have drawn a salary knowing that I wouldn’t be involved with it much past its second year.

So that’s my story. I’d like to think a big part of my drive and work ethic today came from the realization that starting something, anything isn’t easy. College really doesn’t teach you as much as it should. And yes, I do know what the startup life is like.

I’ve been on the warpath ever since.

I have to take issue with something though. Pinterest is being seen as a platform that allows us to be privvy to people’s genuine likes and interests, a window into their inner-most working… something that might be considered a holy grail if we want to get all exaggerative and big-picturesue…  and I really beg to differ. Not because it doesn’t have the potential to be that, but because I think we’re all barking up the wrong tree in terms of what Pinterest is actually giving us and what people are capable of sharing.

There was a post that I read the other day on Search Engine Land talking about entity search being controlled by social. In there was an interesting piece about what Pinterest shares with marketers and brands over other social networks. I agree with the majority of what was said there, but I also have to disagree on the basic premise of why Pinterest is being stated as one who provides a decent look into personas in the the market. Pinterest has been rolling around in my head for a while now, so I’m curious to get your thoughts on how you feel about the below.

How true are these personas that marketers and brands are planning on taking into consideration as a potential demographic? Is Pinterest creating a generation of lying consumers who share “interests” that are completely disconnected from their offline interests because it’s easy to “pin it and forget it?”

Or is Pinterest creating all new interests that are actually translating into offline activities?

There are many types of ways that Pinterest users choose to portray themselves, and the boards and pins they follow and share are a direct result of that. Let’s take a peek at some different ways that Pinterest users are utilizing the platform, which is very different from how they utilize platforms like Facebook and Twitter.

Users essentially share boards and pins that:

• Represent who they are- This is generally a fairly accurate representation of that user’s likes and interests. There’s a high correlation of who their boards and pins suggest they are as compared to real life.
• Represent who they want others to think they are- These are pinners who sculpt their online identities (as they would any other network) to present a certain persona for how they want to be perceived.
• Represent who they think others think they are- Pinners who want to share minor interests of theirs that their friends and connections also show an interest in. They sculpt their identities to cater to the needs of their network.
• Share realistic wants and needs- For example, pinners who are engaged and creating wedding boards, ones who are new home owners that are sharing and constructing DIY pins to reference in their adventures. Pinners who are creating realistic boards that could potentially become purchases and projects.
• Share unrealistic wants and needs- For example (and there are tons of users that do this) singles creating wedding boards, users with no intention of purchasing a home creating boards for DIY projects they find interesting, etc.
• Represent motivation and that extra push- Pinners who create boards and share pins with motivational quotes during tough times, motivational quotes about working out; pins that solidify what they’re aiming for and create a venue for accountability. Meaning, once you’re pinning it, you’ll start to believe that you need to “practice what you preach.”

All of these are great. The question is, how do we distinguish what kind of online profile someone is creating when we’re gaining access to users we can’t otherwise engage with on other networks?

The trickiest part of marketing is factoring in human inconsistencies and free will . No matter how good we are at marketing, there’s always one essential piece missing to the picture that we’ll never be able to replace. We underestimate people’s natural tendencies to embellish, be curious, share things that only require a click and have a low propensity for change.

So how accurate can we be if we’re supplementing information about our target markets from Pinterest? If I’m a brand that created a wedding board, and start gaining followers to it, am I going to be able to cross reference those that are single with those that are engaged with their likes across other networks?

And with that, can we draw a strong psychographic profile of that person based on trusting the remaining boards and pins in their profiles? When you’re relying on a lie (the wedding board when that person isn’t even dating someone) can you trust the remainder of the market information you’re grabbing as a result?

We need to think more carefully before we start tying interests to a specific user when Pinterest is creating more of a “scheming” vs. “doing” environment- meaning, it’s so easy to create these interests and like certain trends, but are we more likely to “do” any of these things? Or is the producer part of us losing out to the passive consumer part of us? How many people are spending hours pinning, and taking away from actually doing?

Is Pinterest creating a new type of “passive consumer?” And with that, how are we going to leverage these passive consumers?

What makes it even worse is that users on Pinterest will find value and follow boards from a brand they wouldn’t normally follow on Facebook. This is a catch 22. The brand is exposed to a new demographic, but they aren’t able to cross reference their pins and boards with their interests and persona on other (private) profiles that they might have gained by asking them to opt in via applications or promotional materials. The profile has loose ends.

I pin a lot of healthy looking recipes. Half the time I don’t even click through to what the actual blog post is. It looks delicious. I share it. I probably won’t cook it, and if I do, I most likely won’t share how delicious it was on Pinterest- I would share it on Facebook, Twitter, my blog, etc.

I’m potentially misleading marketers into thinking 1) I fit a new profile of someone who is very conscientious of what they eat and 2) I’m interested in seeing more of the same from them. So where does this leave me as a consumer? Am I worthy of being marketed to? Can I be trusted? Am I weakly expressing a strong interest of mine, or strongly expressing a weak interest? How are these signals being perceived by brands and marketers?

Which leads us to another problem- because of the disintegration of information both on and off of Pinterest, we can’t currently track a user path from Pinterest to other sites. Meaning, I might click through to that healthy recipe you shared, only to completely expend the remaining time on that website in the chocolate cupcake section. We just don’t know yet.

Moreover, Pinterest is allowing you to act as a middle man unless you’re the creator. When you’re sharing recycled information from around the web, you are helping your brand and visibility but you’re also connecting others to a whole network of sites outside of Pinterest that they can easy go directly to and start pinning from themselves.

My fear is that we’re starting to rely too heavily on what users are sharing or engaging with on social networks, without remembering that people have a tendency to sculpt their online personas. Are pinners really true to what they’re pinning? Will the information you gather from them be something useful in the long run?

More importantly, will we be able to cut through the noise and extract the kind of information we need from them to make an informed marketing decision? What happens when we get to the point where we truly can’t trust how our potential consumers are portraying their interests?

When are we going to figure out how much noise and social information is creating a situation of diminishing and misinformed returns?

Just some random food for thought…

I pre-ordered a book a long time ago, and completely forgot that it was even being shipped. It’s called, “Da Vinci’s Ghost – Genius, obsession, and how Leonardo Created the World in His Own Image.”

Lo and behold, it was a pleasent surprise when I got the email saying it shipped 2 weeks ago. It finally appeared on my doorstop, and I’ve been obsessed with reading it ever since; you know a book is going to be good when it has you asking questions from page 1. It pretty much becomes a complete mind and brain suck by that point in time… in a good way.

The Vitruvian Man, for those who may not know it by its correct name, is Da Vinci’s famous drawing of the symetrical man with 4 legs and 4 arms…. oh yeah, and he’s naked too. There’s more of a back history to this piece but I’ll spare you the details. I wanted this to be a short post… (I’m silently telling myself ‘good luck with that’…)

It’s amazing how one person’s name can make a drawing or piece of artwork into something that’s viewed as magnificent and mysterious. ONE NAME.

Would Vitruvian Man really be that exquisite or mesmerizing of a drawing, as the book describes it, if it wasn’t attached to Da Vinci’s name? What if your friend drew it? Your (freakishly talented) kid?

How can ONE symmetrical drawing of a man completely embody “the beauty of the human body, the creative potential of the human mind, the universality of the human spirit, the power of geometry and mathematics, the grandeur of art and the ideals of the Renaissance”?

Artwork is so subjective; you view a piece, and it speaks to you. I’ve seen tons of fantastic artists create things that could silently slip into the portfolio of a famous artist within the blink of an eye. But because it came from “them” and not “THE famous artist” it struggles in being something that evokes grandeur and beauty in the hearts of the masses.

Just something to think about, is all. Now, by no means am I down-talking this work of art, but I can’t help but think… if I saw this piece at an amateur art show, would I think it was a diamond in the rough? Would I feel my soul being swept away and consumed by all of the elements this piece apparently embodies according to the book? Is a piece of art really JUST a name in tangible form?

Raw intelligence- What you come out of the gate with. Your baseline smarts. You either have a high IQ or you don’t. You pick things up quickly- which can be a skill in and of itself- or you struggle at first.

Skill- To become the best at what you do, you need hours and hours of practice. More time than a person who has that same ‘skillset’ but is mediocre, average, or just gets by AT BEST. Skill can be built.

Talent- Something special that comes more naturally to you than others. With consistent feeding, talent can become unstoppable and untouchable.

Realized genius- True grit and perseverance. The ability to not start out as the best or be extremely smart in all areas, but has the willingness to bleed their soul into what they fixate on and eventually super-cede others in that area.

Each trait manifests and breeds a different kind of person. Some have one trait, and some have multiple traits so tightly woven together that one could not exist without the other.

So what do you think?

I am obsessed with stationary and writing utensils. Really.

You might call me a stationary snob because using yellow post it notes bothers me, and I need ones that aren’t that gross, generic color. Or, you might get weirded out by the fact that I have a pen holder at work with 15 carefully chosen pens, of which I have to rotate usage. Slightly neurotic? In the words of Sarah Palin, ‘You Betcha!’

Needless to say, when I saw this pretty little package arrive in my mailbox today, I was beyond ecstatic.

Note: You might notice the iPhone thumbs up. My thumb is silly and not capable of making an enthusiastic and proper thumbs up, like this guy in the picture. I SWEAR. Please see the image at the end of this post for photo proof.

I’ve been beating up my old (orange) Action Journal for over a year now, and have been hesitant to give it up because I’m a sucker for well worn notebooks that feel like they’ve lived and are holding good ideas. The other day, I FINALLY gave in and ordered a new one, and to my happy little surprise, they added a pretty blue strap and got rid of the old black one they used. Here’s a picture of my overly-loved (AKA, beat to hell) Action Journal that I’m finally retiring, along side my brand spankin’ new blue-baby on the right.

The reason I drool over the Action Method products from Behance and harp on them all the time, is because they allow you to really categorize and organize your thoughts in one place. I’m no stranger to them (I actually have about 7 of their various products) and I find their method refreshing. Especially for someone like me who needs help containing and constructing my thoughts on a daily basis.

Here’s a quick description of how you’re *supposed* to use the Action Journal, rather than fawn over it like I do.

1. References up top, so you can refer to the project you’re writing about.
2. Free open area on the left and right for notes/scratch.
3. Action steps on the right to capture immediate and necessary needs to move the project forward. I like to keep my meeting notes in the free open space, and move action steps from the meeting into this area.
4. Backburner box along the bottom, for ideas that don’t require immediate attention but you’d like to focus on, once the immediate action steps are out of the way.

I’m secretly doing cartwheels right now. In my office. I CAN’T WAIT TO USE THIS TOMORROW!

But then, it bears the question… what’s the FIRST thing to go in there? I mean, devirginizing the first page of your glowing new notebook is a pretty daunting task. Or at least, in my world it is. :)

With that said, it really boils down to this:

I LOVE STATIONARY. So much so, that Shane has to actually drag me away from any kind of stationary aisle. I can’t explain it, and it’s just one of those things that I never outgrew. I like to write out my day, and no matter what digital apps I use, I never remember to check them. There’s something SO SATISFYING about actually scratching something off a real, live to-do list. I’m a little old fashioned in that respect, I guess. I wrote a post sometime in 2010 on Freelance Folder, talking about how pen and paper can actually slow productivity. I still hold this thought to be true, but I’ll never, ever give up my to-do list. EVER. Also, try this bad boy out. You might like it.

What’s your favorite way of tracking your projects and to-dos? Paper products, or specific apps? Even though I never commit to a digital app, I’m always open for something that could rock my world.

PS: Here’s my thumb that’s incapable of showing ANY ENTHUSIASM WHATSOEVER. I can’t bend it further than this, and it disappoints me greatly that I’m forced to use a stock photo image on my iPhone, within a picture taken with another iPhone, in order to demonstrate proper thumbs-up-ability.

I’m a sucker for first impressions. I think what I feel about you when I meet you generally holds true to how I’ll feel about you a few days, months, years or however long from now that I’m graced with your presence in whatever form.

Whether you’re someone I’ve met randomly in the street or a store, or even somebody I have to coexist with for whatever reason. That first impression burns a hole in my brain and it’s pretty impossible for me to forget it. It kind of sets the stage for the rest of the ‘relationship, ‘friendship, ‘I-know-you-ship’ or what have you. It’s kind of like how you always remember certain things and fragments of people, but not everything. Just the small things you think about them, whether you’ve altered it in your memory or it’s true to form.

Of course, I hope other people don’t live by this rule and use burning judgment when meeting me, because I’m pretty bad at first impressions. Meaning, I’m usually a little sarcastic. Pretty straight forward. A little nosy (okay, I’m pretty nosy. This is usually after the first impression, but hey, I like to get to know the people I’m meeting.)

I’m pretty private for the most part (about things that actually matter) but if you ask me questions the right way and you fell into that 1% of first impressions that make me feel like I’ve known you a long time you’ll probably get some answers.

Shane was somebody like that.

I’m a pretty open closed person. That might not make sense to you, but it does to me. I like to talk and I like to ask questions. I really just like the whole “getting to know someone” thing, which is funny because I’m not really that social of a person.

I’ve been told I can be intimidating upon first impression. Which I think is pretty preposterous. Sometimes I think “Well HEY! I suck at first impressions and I was able to change their minds about me”, and I think that I should be able to do the same. I’ll work on that.

I’ve met people that have just made me feel really awkward. Like, turn and run the other way awkward. Then I’ve met people whose awesomeness mixes with my awesomeness -THERE’S THAT WORD AGAIN! TWICE!  I can’t even live by my own RULES- and it’s like there was never really a meeting at all and that person was instantly someone who has been implanted in my life.

Then there are those people you just never warm up to. Or people whose personalities just instantly clash with yours… and trust me, I can smell that a mile away. It’s like accidentally rubbing two sticks together, over and over until they spontaneously combust. OR, it’s like when I tell a really stupid joke (and I do this often) and your face is all, OMGWHATADUMBASS. Thanks. I’d like to forget that you exist now.

Then there’s the whole “handshake” thing. I think the first time you meet somebody and shake their hand (SLASH high five them SLASH fist bump them.. okay. No fist bumps here. But definitely the high five) can be extremely telling.

Note: From here on out, I’m completely leaving out any references to high fives or fist bumps because honestly? You can’t screw those up. They exist solely for the purpose of being used correctly. OKAY. I might not be able to resist mentioning a high five.

9/10 times it’s really awkward shaking another woman’s hand because they do that whole “I’m so dainty. I’ll touch *maybe* two or three of your fingers without firmly grasping your hand. Because I’m a WOMAN and I’m not supposed to have a firm handshake. I AM DAINTY DAMNIT” handshake.

Meanwhile, I won’t hide the fact that there’s nothing dainty about me (except for the fact that I’m short) so I probably freak them out when I manhandle their hand. But it is what it is.

Bad handshake? Bad first impression.

I like to think that first impressions are the truest, and my first impressions of people have generally endured and validated over time. Whether that’s being really comfortable with someone, not trusting someone, or whatever. </braindump>

NOTE: NEW WORD TO BAN? Whatever. And I mean the word ‘whatever.’ I’m not saying Whatever to banning… wait, nevermind.

I am cautioning you now. If your brain is yelling “ABORT, ABORT!” it’s probably best to follow its advice. This isn’t a “short and sweet”, “nicely bulleted list” with “images to break up the post and keep a reader’s attention span.” This is just me, writing.

Yesterday was the last day of 2011, and boy it was one hell of a Year. This was our first year celebrating down in Florida. We watched the Red Bull No Limits event (which is way cooler than the ball dropping, in my opinion). And it was warm. This was a very “Florida” New Years if I’ve ever seen one, so it was a little strange being around palm trees and 70 degree weather.

2011 was a year of many accomplishments that were sometimes frustrating but always satisfying.

We bought our first place, which involved being temporarily homeless for about two weeks and nearly jumping across the table to punch the underwriter in the face. Talking to BOA at all hours of the day and night, and being practically in tears during those two weeks at any given point in time.

(If you were curious, by the way, you’re not *actually* supposed to go talk to an underwriter in person. Probably for their own safety. I can’t speak for all underwriters but ours was pretty damn incompetent and I think she was scared. And rightfully so.)

I got to see my dad for the first time in about 4 years. Shane and I hit our 5 year anniversary (and 6 is coming up in 4 short months). Engagements, babies and breakups (none of which were mine), financial stability and lots of personal growth.

I was in the 2nd year of helping an amazing company grow, which brought a ton of changes in and of itself. Even looking back to the beginning of 2010 with Search & Social, it’s really crazy to see how I’ve evolved, as well as everyone around me, and grown professionally.

I don’t necessarily want to make “resolutions” this year. Resolutions are the kind of thing that you say you’re going to do to make up for something you failed at the year prior. Except you don’t actually maintain it past the first or second month because it’s something that is completely counter-intuitive to you as a person. Like people who say they’re going to workout and be healthy in the New Year, and flood my gym so that I can’t use a machine. I give them kudos for wanting to improve their health and make their lives better, but I also know 90% of them won’t make it past month 1, and for that I am grateful. Cause really, who the hell wants to wait in line to use a weight machine? Not me.

There’s also things I want to DO. Like SKY DIVING. Or taking a car drifting around a track. All things that will probably KILL me. But hey, if the world is ending that’s okay right? RIGHT!? I can believe that stupid prediction for the sake of this argument OK?

With that said, there are things I want to do better. Or don’t want to do at all. Because last year was HARD. And I’ve learned a lot about my mental limits, stress levels, and what it takes to make me happy- as well as what it takes to make sure everyone around me doesn’t want to smack me.

So without further ado, here are my “not-really-a-resolution” resolutions (aka, things I want to do) that may or may not make you want to gouge your eyes out if you continue reading through them all.

Coerce my sister into coming down here and tattooing me. Hey Lydia! That means you, and yes, I’m totally roping you into my not-really-a-resolution resolution. I’ve had this amazing idea for a completely custom rib piece (for the other side, not adding to the rib piece I already have) but because my sister and I are never in the same place, at the same time, for more than a day or two, it’s been pretty impossible to have her sketch it up and start it. I refuse to go to somebody else so I’ll just have to wait and find some way to convince her she absolutely needs to come and play in Florida long enough to at least start the outline and partial fill of it. :)

Don’t be so social on social media. This may seem counter-intuitive to someone who is working in the Internet marketing industry, but you really begin to realize how much you miss real relationships when you spend the majority of your time working online. I’ve noticed that the relationships that mean the most to me are the ones that don’t actually exist on or leverage social media on a daily (or even weekly) basis.

The friends that we see when we go back home, family members, etc, can stand the test of time without social media. While it’s a necessary ‘evil’ if you will – on a personal level, not on a marketing level – I’d like to take more time to foster actual relationships with the people around me. Starting a Friday (sometimes) ritual of grabbing beers with some people from work and the boyfriend has been a great step in that direction. I like the face-to-face and I think it’s something that’s slowly dying as we turn into a more online-driven culture. I’m the kinda person who would rather walk over and talk to you than instant message you. Sometimes I think our generation just doesn’t like to TALK.

Write [blog] more, consume less. I used to write all the time. AAAAAActually, I used to be a way better writer than I am now, and I feel like spending so much time on social media (and getting things shared in under 140 characters) is forcing me to be more of a consumer rather than a creator. It’s kind of (who am I kidding, it HAS) killed that creative side of me. As such, I will try to write more. Whether people want to read it or not is one thing, but I lost a lot of readers over the past few years by not staying true to my writing style. Also, having a career has kind of swayed the way I utilize my blog because I suspect that people come here to see thoughtful and insightful things about the industry that I work in. But it’s not always that stuff- it started as a personal blog and will mostly stay (mainly) personal. Which means it might be slightly offensive, slightly off topic, and sometimes (OK, MOSTLY!) completely irrelevant to what I do on a daily basis.

Consume more. Yeah, I know. I just said that all the consumption has killed my creativity and I wanted to consume less. But by saying I want to consume more, I really mean I want to consume more things of quality, rather than consuming things like UNICORNSANDLOLCATS. Because of my attention span and perception of an ever-existing time crunch, I’ve only been scanning articles that I probably would love to take the time to read and digest.

Last year, I would take time out every night to read articles that were of interest, which helped keep me on top of my game and on my feet. I would even read things that weren’t directly relevant to what I do on a daily basis, such as design/coding related articles, political articles (because I have a secret Love/Hate relationship with politics), Science articles (because I have a secret love for quantum physics and all things weird on a micro level) … all of these types of articles I haven’t allowed myself to take the time to read this year. And seriously, I think all the garbage social media consumption is killing my brain cells. I need to get back to the quality, and not necessarily the quantity. Then of course, there’s consuming more articles directly related to what I do on a daily basis.

Spend more time making instead of buying. OK, I can blame this a little on Pinterest… but in my defense, I did start CondoSWAG with the intention of doing a lot more DIY projects since buying the condo before Pinterest existed. :).

We spend a ton of money throughout the year, and I think if we’re going to spend money, we can at least have a little fun with it. As such, before I buy something  expensive just because it looks pretty, I’m going to see if there’s a way to make it personalized. Then I kill two birds with one stone. Spend less money, and actually have something to update on CondoSWAG.

Be more thoughtful. I seriously dropped the ball this year around the holidays. No matter how busy you are, there’s absolutely no excuse  for letting Christmas sneak up on you and realizing that you’ve done nothing to prepare for it. I barely squeaked out a handful of Christmas cards this year (and sent them out a few days prior to the actual holiday, mind you) and didn’t even have time to update my friends and family with the new address. Which is absolute bullshit because it would only take me a minute to do that. We also decided to buy a live Christmas tree but never got around to getting a stand (I know. I know. STOP JUDGING ME!) and barely got any other decorations up. So this year, I’m going to plan ahead and be more thoughtful. I think back in horror to this month and how absolutely horrible I was with getting into the holiday spirit. I mean, I didn’t even get my dog reindeer antlers like I wanted to. That is sad, in and of itself.

Unplug more. And spend more time trying new things and spending time with my loved ones. I took a lot of PTO from work between November and December, simply because I only used 1 or 2 days the whole entire year and had to use them or lose them. And on those PTO days, I was neurotic enough to decide to work. Please see  my “not-really-a-resolution resolution” realize that things can exist without me below. During the actual week of PTO I took over the holidays (and also during the time I was trapped in a car for close to 30 hours without a jailbroken phone and the ability to use my laptop or tablet) I really took the time to unplug and do more things that I enjoyed doing.

Having those few days of mental relaxation made me realize that I actually STILL like decorating the condo, taking on fun DIY home projects, trying to cook, lounging around reading my Kindle and spending time with someone I love who probably feels like my face is always glued to some kind of screen. I totally forgot what some good relaxation can do for your spirit. I also spent over 15 years of my life riding (and owning) horses, and I suddenly stopped riding when I moved to Tampa. I miss it.

Even when not doing anything work related, the constant barrage of Facebook status updates, Tweets, links to articles, updated photos of that person you knew a long time ago but really don’t care what their doing now filling your stream, updates of people talking about how great their life is (when really, they’re probably sitting there writing the update rather than actually doing said update in real life) and ALL SORTS OF OTHER STUFF can really break your concentration and consume you. Because of this, I’m trying to unplug more in the new year. For my own sanity, and probably yours too. With this, comes not using my laptop in bed until 3 am. I didn’t think this was a problem until:

1) I could never get to sleep after and,

2) Shane looked like we were in a sauna from the laptop raising the temperature about 10 degrees, and I felt bad. Sometimes it takes someone else for you to realize what you’re doing isn’t a good habit.

Learn more and be great at a few things rather than “really good” at a lot. Somewhere down below, I mention the fact that I’m kind of like a sponge and can consume tons of brand new information, digest and understand it, and put it to work. Because of this, I pick up a lot of strange hobbies. I know a lot of RANDOM stuff. It’s weird, but fits in well with my need to constantly be doing a ton of things. Because I’m so busy consuming a lot of everything, I’ve been lacking in the time to really sculpt a few of the things that I’m good at hobby-wise. I saw this in school a lot. For those of you who haven’t been following this blog for very long, my college career was extremely long and full of degree changes. I somehow managed to complete 2 Associate’s Degrees and a Bachelor’s Degree with double focus solely because I wanted to do everything. If you think I’m kidding, I’m not. I’ve wanted to be an Engineerlawyerscientistentrepreneur[mesh more careers here] and the sad thing is, I did beyond well in classes for all of those things. Including financial derivatives that had an 80 percent fail rate. I’m one of those people who gets bored really easily, so I think taking the time to master something directly or indirectly related to what I do on a daily basis will help focus me.

I got Shane a Think Vitamin subscription last year (which is now Tree House) which has some development stuff I want to learn. Also, with the release of the new MITx initiative that’s launching next year, I think I’ll have the ability to do this. I’ve always wanted to make it a goal to go back to school and get my MBA, or get a degree from Full Sail but I can’t fathom the amount of money I would spend interest wise, each year, if  I took out a loan.

Truly pursue my ideas. I have a bank of ideas for businesses, projects, products, apps, website, etc. I’ve even gone so far as to write business proposals or spec out pages of details for my ideas. But you know what they say, a great idea doesn’t mean anything unless you have the means and grit to pursue it. Along with the “making more time to do learn and try new things” idea, I’m also going to make it a point to put myself out there and try to get one of my ideas created.

Fully listen. I’m the queen of multi-tasking and half listening. I can hold a conversation with someone when I’m thinking about something else at the same time. I think faster than I speak, so I’m always light years ahead, in thought, of what I’m actually talking about at that very moment. I blame this on my attention span and brain that seems like it’s running on a treadmill and pumped up with thought-steroids at any given moment. So I’d like to listen more. REALLY listen more, as in, get engaged, shut my wandering thoughts off and bring myself into the present, fully and completely. You can totally tell when I’m half-listening too. Shane catches me all the time because I go, “mmhmm. Uh huh. Yeah.” which isn’t really fair to the person I’m holding a conversation with. So fully listening is on my list of things I would like to do this year.

Be more direct. On all levels. The fluffy, filler crap in life is sometimes pretty pointless. A lot of time and effort can be saved by being more direct- with friends, family, professionally. Shortening those 15 line long emails to 1 line. Not playing phone tag, but finding an alternate way to contact that person and save time.

Be more proactive. Okay, I manage a lot of things in my life. I help my dad manage all the properties that he owns and is renting out . And by manage, I mean I deal with all the angry people, associations or agencies when something goes wrong. And since my dad is constantly traveling and contracting jobs, I generally get all his mail and deal with it accordingly. Meanwhile, this is our first place so half the time I don’t know how to deal with new things that arise with the mortgage, taxes, association fees, etc.

So it’s all LEARNTHISASGODDAMNFASTASYOUCAN so I can keep up with life. So essentially, my whole life is a job at this point, and I think dealing with things quicker and faster, and not getting it pushed aside because I insist to myself that I’m so busy with other things, will help alleviate the stress that builds up. And really, everyone has a ton of things going on. I think about all the people around me who have 80 billion more Things and Responsibilities than me and they somehow make it work. So making excuses is pretty anti-productive on my part. I just need to GSD (Get Shit Done) and be on with it.

Realize that things can exist without me. Not all the time. But I don’t have to have my eyes on things 24/7. Because I do need to sleep, regardless of whether you think I’m a nocturnal vampire or not.

I’m a complete mental basket case when it comes to being involved in any kind of project on a personal or professional level. If you haven’t noticed, I like control and I like being involved in every aspect of something even if it’s of no direct use to me. I soak things up quickly, and that’s how I learn. It’s also why I know so many random things. It’s definitely a quality that’s of value, but personally, it’s mentally taxing. One thing I’m trying to work on in the new year is realizing that it’s OK to actually go to sleep and not drive myself crazy over little things until 3 am. If it’s something I’m not directly involved in, it’s OK to watch from the sidelines once I don’t need direct input. And with that…

Sleep more. And yes, I know sleep is for the weak and all that good stuff, but I spent about half of this year running on under 6 hours of sleep. If you really wanted to know what an angry, irritable gargoyle looks like, you probably could just look at me and fulfill that desire. No amount of coffee can cure constant sleeplessness. While I don’t mind getting little amounts of sleep, there are times when I really just want to go to bed early. And that whole “realizing that things can exist without me” thing is probably one of the first steps to that.

Stop using annoying words. OK. The word Awesome is.. well.. awesome, except when used in abundance. It’s a stupid word that’s a substitute for (sometimes) not putting any thought into what you’re saying. But then, some things are truly awe inspiring. Hence, awesome. So, I’m going to try to stop saying things like that when really unnecessary. We’ll see how that goes… I said I wouldn’t swear last year, but we all know that didn’t happen. Maybe I’ll have more success with this. :)

So we’ll see if I can actually make do with some of these “resolutions.” I’ve picked the above for my own sanity. And enjoyment.

What are your “not-really-a-resolution” resolutions this year?  And if for SOME reason you expect the world to actually end, I expect your resolutions to be wild and crazy.

It steals your soul in a good way. Usually.

Note: Really long ramble about psychology and advertising and random crap that spurned from the “1984″ commercial for the Mac. Only read it if you feel like absorbing my thoughts.

I had a great conversation with someone the other day about what’s missing with the new generation of marketing that’s evolved from traditional marketing/advertising. Many people view the new-ish marketing mediums as a quick way to engage users online, but they don’t really look behind the actual psyche and fundamentals of the company that’s being marketed or the people that are being marketed to. While the allure of “quick, flashy and fun” can be appealing and work to some extent, marketing and advertising will always come down to one key component- Psychology.

Enter… the rambling.

I’ll admit, I’ll always have a soft spot for great advertising or design that leverages emotions. It’s a bitch of an industry to work in, but the effect a strong advertisement or design has when executed correctly and ingeniously created is unbelievable. Great advertising campaigns- along with artwork, design, music, whatever it is- makes you feel.  The ability to evoke raw emotion is something that is severely overlooked in our 2.0 generation and it’s hard to effectively generate that in 140 characters or less or with Facebook status updates. The message changes in microbites that feed to our attention span deprived generation. I mean sure, humor is the direction most people try to go because there’s really-funny, stupid-funny, and dumb-funny. There’s smart-funny and over-your-head-funny. There’s completely-off-topic-so-its-supposed-to-be-funny-and-cute-but-really-just-sucks funny. A funny for everyone. But funny doesn’t always do it.

Note: I won’t ever appreciate the jerks who made the ASPCA commercials with Sarah McLachlan. I don’t like the feeling of looking at sad little puppies who need homes and wanting to steal them all. It’s effective at mind f’ing you though.

It’s true that any “good” product can sell itself. Hell, just take a look at TV after midnight with all those damn infomercials. The sales person that’s selling the product and foaming at the mouth can certainly make us believe that at 2:30 in the morning there really is only 30 minutes left to call and get the 1/2 off special on a Snuggie, but I bet you 50 dollars they’re not the reason you’re going to actually buy that product. Even though infomercials are annoying, some of the products on there are kind of cool, and people do buy them. (Note: I have never purchased something from an infomercial.)

But let’s be real here. Who could resist the charm of the Billy Mays?

So yes, there is that kind of marketing (unfortunately) in this world. And it works and serves its purpose. Sort of. What really made you buy that product? Did it touch any kind of emotion inside of you? Or was it just one of our compulsive tendencies of human nature to buy something because it looks neat, and is cheap enough where if it sucks or breaks it wouldn’t really matter? I’m guessing the latter. Just because that method works, it doesn’t mean we should do it.

Late night advertisers aren’t reaching consumers who give a damn about the company behind the product, because the company behind the product really just cares about selling obscure objects late at night and making a cheap buck. Knowing who your current, and future consumers are and reaching them with a strong message is something that old school, traditional advertising and marketing agencies were good at before the whole social media thing and users with no attention spans were thrown into the mix. That kind of advertising is still around, don’t get me wrong, but some companies aren’t really harnessing the whole psychological thing.

Take Apple’s 1984 Macintosh ad. Yeah, I’m talking about the one with the lady who is dressed in the Hooter’s colors and running rampant with a sledgehammer.

One of the great things about Apple’s advertising is that they’ve always marketed to an audience who didn’t know they needed the product yet.

The late 1970′s to 1980′s was a time when the ‘hippie’ (for lack of a better word) sub-culture was still going strong and lots of people wanted to stick it to the man. The creation of personal computers had many people shying away from it’s uses- for whatever reason they considered the use of technology a betrayal of the lifestyle they fundamentally believed in. They felt like it was pushing them towards a Big Brother-esque environment where creativity and freedom was completely oppressed and suits were the normal.

While this may not send the same message to us now, because we’re a lot different as a society, this resonated strong in the era that it was launched. What I love about this ad is the fact that it’s weird and really off-beat. It’s not directly selling a product. It’s not pointing out features and telling you why you need it. Hell, it’s not even outwardly pitching the product that’s being sold until you get to the end. The Board for Apple hated the story board for this ad so much so, that they told the agency to sell back its to SuperBowl time slots because it was shitty. Steve Jobs thought the advertisement was genius, and the agency only ended up selling one time slot back because they believed the ad was going to be a killer. It’s a good thing they kept that one spot, because the whole audience watched in silence as the captivating atmosphere of 1984 blanketed the stadium.

This ad appealed to the raw emotions deep within the people and culture they were targeting. The steely metal and grays. The dim lights. The deep, ominous tones. The images of individuals marching in white, stuck in conformity with unblinking stares.

Drones.

Representing what they were trying so hard not to become on the outside. Angry, raging sledgehammer-girl representing their inner screams for freedom and fighting to keep all that was creative and different in this world around.

They played off the concept and paranoia of “Big Brother”, with  David Graham’s booming voice chanting in the background, suppressing all individual thought. Pretty cult-esque. Side note: I need to stop using ‘esque…’

What this ad managed to do was speak to an audience that was blinded by the overtones of society and sold them on something they didn’t know they wanted by appealing to their emotions. They had no interest whatsoever in using this devil-machine but suddenly they felt as if this company was on their side. This company was a rebel just like them. They felt like the company understood them. And while die hard Apple fans can make me fear my life, you can’t deny that Apple did a good job of building a loyal following by fostering that feeling of wanting to be different, creative and free. Which is kind of ironic because everyone who is trying to be different is really the same. But I digress.

Their iPod advertising was so effective that legendary bands who had slow downs in sales over the years begged to be in them without getting paid. When they were featured, their sales skyrocketed because Apple was so effective at appealing to its audience that those same emotions were able to be projected onto the artist. They suddenly recaptured the hearts of old fans, and gained new fans that weren’t even born when they were around. That’s the power of marketing and advertising.

So back to my point. Because we’re so focused on the fun and flashy on the surface, we’re neglecting getting down into the nitty gritty of what makes people tick. Really evoking that raw emotion (whether that be happiness, loss, fear, comfort, uncertainty, love, hate… whatever) is something that is being slowly lost in translation. And I like that raw emotion.

Disclaimer: I’m big on reading business blogs, books, bios on entrepreneurs and the start up life. When I read, I think. When I think, I write. I’m knee deep in a book right now. If you know me well enough, you’ll know that I’ve been writing about this type of stuff for years. Hence, this post. For those genuinely interested in what I was reading that sparked it, and learning something, they are here. I’m also reading Steve Job’s bio.

1. http://www.smartcompany.com.au/people-problems/20110823-negativity-is-contagious.html
2. http://www.theleadershiphub.com/blogs/steve-jobs%E2%80%99-reality-distortion-field-leadership-or-bullying
3. http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/2011/10/06/optimism-and-enthusiasm-lessons-for-scientists-from-steve-jobs/
4. http://www.instantshift.com/2011/11/25/how-to-handle-negativity-in-your-design-business/

As it gets closer to the holiday season, people start to change. Stress becomes a big factor in that metamorphosis, but mainly, the holiday season can drive people to become the worst versions of themselves. Negativity is something that is so incredibly toxic, to both yourself and everyone around you. This world is an incredibly negative place, and ever since leaving the college bubble, I’ve realized that.

And I’m not talking about the pseudo-negativity; the kind where you’re a positive person with a positive outlook, but have a sarcastic view on what’s transpiring around you. That’s fun. Because I typically can’t stand ‘The sun is shining! The world is beautiful! This rainbow formed just for us!” kind of people. I appreciate realism.

I’m talking about the pure crap negativity where you can’t see that there’s more to life than the 24 hour bubbles we exist in. I’m talking about something being unreachable and STAYING unreachable because you believe it’s impossible. I don’t think I’ve ever said no to an opportunity, even if I wasn’t fully sure that I could do it. Because not taking that opportunity? That’s how you lose in life. Losing is letting the insecurity, the worry, the fear of failure and allowing everything just outside your grasp to get a permanent address there. Forever.

So how do you cure this lollygagging madness?

Quit bitching, start moving

Channeling Nike, JUST DO IT. Being negative is a huge waste of time. There’s a huge difference between being realistic and being cynical. Be self aware. All that time spent  festering and stewing in your own resent is time and energy that’s wasted and could be projected elsewhere. You are what you think. You’re a by-product of your attitude.

Realize you can’t control everything around you

Sure. We like to think that we’re in control of our lives. Maybe on a macro level we are, but certainly not on a micro level. Something out of your control happen today? That’s okay. Let it. Adapt and change how you react to it. Because when you start letting everything control YOU, that’s when you have a problem.

Learn from everyone around you

Nobody is the brightest, the best, the most awesome at what they’re doing.  Even when it’s your calling in life. Nobody has the whole package. We each have our weaknesses, but we learn not to play to them. One thing I’ve found is that instead of sitting back and feeling defeated, learn from everyone around you. Even if you’re not interested in it or it doesn’t necessarily apply to you. Because you never know when that one thing you thought was irrelevant to learn will actually help you innovate and become better at what you do.

Know this: You’re really just getting in your own way

I hate people that tell you, “you can be anything you want to be! You can do anything you want to do! (!!!) (!!!!) ::insert joyfulness:: *skips away into the sunset*”

I hate people who are fake cheerleaders. But what I do appreciate is the message behind the medium.

Anything really IS possible. I believe that the human mind is capable of learning and doing anything it wants. The problem is, we have to be realistic in knowing that it’s not going to be easy. It’s not likely to work out the first time around. You’re going to have to give up the easy, comfortable stuff. It’s not going to butterflies and rainbows. That’s a FACT.

You see those “overnight business successes?”

What you don’t see is the failure of many micro businesses before them. What you don’t see is the long hours at night where they’re getting outside of their comfort zone to try their very hardest to make it work. What you don’t see is them putting in extra time to learn what they don’t know, because they know they don’t know everything but need to have a good grasp of things to make it work.

They fail. But they keep TRYING. Even in the face of uncertainty.

No person or business is an overnight success. It’s likely there’s years of mistakes, failures and lessons learned behind that success. So quit being negative. You’re going to fail. You’re going to fall on your face, But embrace that fact, and you can move one step closer to actually succeeding.

Some of the greatest Founders,CEOs and social innovators of all time succeeded because they took that risk- they understand the chance of failure, they said F it, and went for it. Sure, they pushed everyone in the company to the limit. Sure, they set deadlines and dates that were unattainable to the “average” person. I’m sure there was revolt. But the push is what made them work hard and quit being average. Those who wasted time saying it couldn’t be done? They didn’t make it. They got in their own (and everyone else’s) way.

Blaze your own path

Noone is ever really, truly going to like what you’re doing when you’re not fitting into a cookie cutter mold. If you’re innovating, people will have doubts. If you’re leading, people won’t trust you unless you’re smiling and nice to everyone. If you’re pushing people to the limit, they get uncomfortable and want something easier. But you know what? If someone doesn’t like or appreciate you, F it.

Because nothing would get done in this world if it wasn’t for those who pushed the envelope. Those who didn’t worry about what others thought of their leadership style. Because those who know they’re a part of something big will stick around and appreciate the message and passion behind the medium.

And now, I will leave you with one of my favorite Robert Frost poems.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.